Nothing prepares you for being a parent except actually becoming one. But no one ever tells you how stressful it really is. In fact, I'm becoming more and more convinced that if people knew how stressful being a parent actually is, a lot less of them would have children. Each stage of a child's life presents its own set of challenges and issues. You remain convinced that things will get easier when they're older. The reality is, however, that you are just presented with a new set of things to worry over and stress about as your child goes from one stage of life to the next.
Now, don't get me wrong. Certain things do, indeed, get easier. I mean, let's face it, it's a relief when your child is potty trained and out of diapers. And when you no longer have to wipe their bottom for them, it's even better. Then when you reach the stage where they can get up and function without you in the morning and you can finally sleep in again? Pure heaven! Naturally, though, each of the things that get easier is balanced out by new issues, like choosing the right school and getting homework done.
So, why am I focusing on the stresses of parenthood now? Because it's been a week filled with difficult decisions and then second guessing those decisions and then second guessing the second guessing. You see, our son, who is 15 and a sophomore in high school, has been sick this week. Keeping him home on Monday was a no-brainer because he was obviously ill and running a fever. He claimed to be better on Tuesday so I let him go to school, although I second guessed myself the whole drive there, listening to him cough. I checked with him in the afternoon, to see how he was doing, and he said he was fine and was going to hang out with friends until I got off work at 5. Then when I picked him up, it was obvious that he was still sick and was running a fever again.
Needless to say, I kept him home on Wednesday and called the doctor since he'd now been running a fever since Sunday night. When we go in on Wednesday afternoon, she confirms my suspicions that he has the flu. Of course, it's now too late in the game for an antiviral to do any good. He claims he's feeling better already. She makes her recommendations for getting his fever down and says to definitely keep him home on Thursday (today) and to play Friday by ear. That if he wasn't running a fever, he could go to school. And this is my biggest stressor.
If it was any other week, I could, indeed, play it by ear and decide Friday morning whether to send him to school or not. But it's this week. And this week includes his Advanced Jazz Band performance at Disney California Adventure on Friday. A day with a 6:30 am call time and an 11 pm pickup time. Meaning a really long, active, day spent outside. To add to the stress, they need to know if he's going to be there because if he's not, they need to hire a bass player for the performance. Needing to make a decision and stressing because my husband will be out of town for a race and we need to pick up at the park rather than school (meaning 50 miles of driving each way, in the dark, rather than just 25) and factoring in that he was running a fever this morning, I said he wasn't going.
Needless to say, this immediately made me feel like I was just cast as meanest mother in the universe. Especially when the pleading started when I told him. He was FINE, he insisted, and would be even better tomorrow. He wasn't even running a fever any more, he said. Stress, stress, stress. Why does the performance have to be this week? Even if he is better, aka no longer contagious, what else would he be exposed to if he went? To compound things even more, every time I had him take his temp, it was normal. Ugh. Why is it so hard to be a parent? No one ever said you'd be making decisions that would break your child's heart, which would then break yours.
After having a normal temperature for most of the day, he finally convinced me that he was well enough to go. I caved when a good friend, whose daughter is also in jazz band, said she would pick him up at the park and I could get him at her house, taking me back down to a 50 mile round trip. I sent a text to the band director, to make sure it was ok, and he was pleased. Great, everything is all arranged, we just need to fill out permission slip in the morning when we drop him off. I go tell him he needs to call it a night since tomorrow is going to be a big day and have him take his temp.
It's 99.4.
Just go ahead and shoot me now because I'm back to not knowing what the hell to do about tomorrow.
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