Since my son didn't have school today, I knew I could take a little extra time this morning. After I got dressed for work, I headed downstairs to feed the puppies and make my coffee. This is pretty much my daily routine, varying only in what I decide to put on my body for clothes. I sat down with my coffee, thinking I'd take just a few minutes to relax before heading in to work. I knew that I could take a few extra minutes for myself since I didn't have to do a drop off at the high school.
As I sat there with my coffee, however, it slowly dawned on me. The reason my breathing was all funky was because of pain. I tend to do this thing where I hold my breath in for longer when I hurt. It's not a conscious thing on my part, it just seems to happen. It wasn't like I was having sharp pain in any one spot. No, this was just kind of a pervasive ache throughout my entire body. I have no idea where it came from. If you'd asked me when I got up this morning, I would have said that I was just typically morning stiff.
I assessed the situation for about ten minutes or so. Things were not getting better and I kept noticing more aching and pains. I decided I'd take a pain pill, call in to work and say that I was having some issues but I was hoping I'd be in later. Luckily, I had no commitments at work today that would cause any problems if I wasn't there. Unfortunately, it felt like that pain pill did nothing. It certainly did not alleviate the ache that seemed to be making my whole body throb. Maybe I'm lucky because that really doesn't happen to me very often. Usually when I take a pain pill, it starts to kick in within about 5 minutes and my pain levels diminish.
Six hours later, I took another pill. Again, it didn't really seem to have an effect on my pain levels. This time, however, I decided to try to double-team the pain. So I took another pill after 3 hours, knowing that although the bottle says one pill every six hours, my rheumatologist said that I could actually do 1-2 pills every 4-6 hours. At that point I finally got some relief from the constant ache that was spread throughout my entire body. Although it didn't do anything about the wide spread itching I was (and am still) experiencing.
Oh, the joys that fibromyalgia brings! The never knowing what the day - or even the hour - is going to bring. The things that make no sense, even to us, let alone outsiders. Things like the complete and utter exhaustion I experienced on Tuesday. Or the not knowing if it was that exhaustion or something else entirely that caused my eyes to not want to focus or stay open on Tuesday morning. While driving my son to school. Trust me, this is not a pleasant experience and I've never found anything that works to "fix" that particular situation. Since I had a lab appointment for bloodwork that morning, I headed to the lab to wait the half an hour for my appointment time. And fell asleep in the car while waiting.
Knowing from experience that I would just fall asleep in my office if I went in to work, I called in and headed home instead. I made myself a cup of coffee, complete with my usual addition of a protein shake, and attempted to watch a little tv. No idea what since I ended up falling asleep in my chair for a couple of hours. At which point, I went upstairs, read a chapter in my book, and then took another three hour nap. Managed to stay awake long enough to have something to eat with my husband and son when they got home but by 9 pm my eyes were refusing to stay open any longer and I had to call it a night.
I've taken 4 pain pills since 7 am this morning. I still hurt. My neck hurts. My arms ache. My mid and lower back are throbbing. My legs feel weighted down. It feels like there are grains of something under my eyelids which make my eyes feel gritty. I itch. All over. Scratching doesn't help. I have no idea how I'll sleep since it could go either way. What will tomorrow bring? I don't have a freaking clue. With any luck at all, it will be a bright sunny day and I'll be pain free and able to enjoy it and actually get something done. Which would make a really nice change.
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